Sunday, January 9, 2011

Men and their gadgets

So here’s a common issue some ladies might run into nowadays….a husband/boyfriend who seems attached by an invisible lanyard to his phone or computer, and who zones out so completely that you can walk in front of him butt ass naked and he wouldn’t even notice. What the….really???!?! I’ll admit, my first thought was to bemoan my situation and the burden of having such a insensitive man as my husband. Oh yeah, biiiiig pity party for me. My second thought was ok how do I change it, because I sure as heck ain’t gonna sit here it and have that. While there are groups that suggest you should never try to change your man, I believe that in some areas..such as this…you can make it known that you feel ignored without coming across as a force that is trying to direct his life. My way of going about it is to turn it into a joke…such as…when he finally acknowledges my existence on the planet, I say “oh cool baby, im glad you know that im here!” with a smile and maybe a kiss. Guys are pretty simple in that if you make it cute and a little playful, they usually don’t get mad. Of course I learned about that after the time I lost my mind and said “will you at least freaking kiss me when we wake up before you reach for the stupid phone I’ve been replaced with?!?!” Oh yes, believe me, I sometimes hate modern technology.

I’m learning that there are some things that I will just have to put up with, things that aren’t really a huge issue in the big picture, just a huge issue in my mind for reasons that I create. Guys have a pride thing, when they feel attacked, regardless of whether or not they are wrong, they will not respond. This says to me that 1.) I have to choose my battles 2.) I have to be strategic in my methods and 3.) I need to watch for his efforts to change…because they’re there, we just have to zoom out from our idea of perfection and pay attention to the small things. One quote I heard recently that I love is “Expectations are just pre-meditated resentments.” I can not emphasize the truth of that statement.